“They couldn’t take their eyes off them — Peter and John standing there so confident, so sure of themselves!”
When is the last time you stood there so confident, so sure of yourself that people were amazed? I can’t explain why my eyes landed on this line, but tried to read further and my eyes kept going back to that line.
In two years of coaching I’ve discovered a startling truth: confidence is an issue for women at all levels of responsibility. All it takes is a few words, a nasty email (the coward’s approach to confrontation) or a bad review (which we shouldn’t be reading anyway) to knock down the most confident woman. Why?
A Forbes article cites ‘a study done at Cornell University found that men overestimate their abilities and performance, while women underestimate both. In fact, their actual performance does not differ in quality or quantity.” Many call this mentality the “imposter syndrome” — a state in which we believe we really don’t deserve the job we have and sooner or later someone will find out we’re an imposter, not competent for the job. The difference between a man and a woman who’s 60% qualified is the decision to try.
The Forbes article lists some helpful ways to appear confident, but if you’re like me, that works for about a minute. For years I operated under the assumption that if I dressed the part that I was aiming for, the world would recognize me as a mighty force and promote me to that position. Yes, appearance is 80% of your first impression, but the unspoken link to building trust is found not in your stilettos but between your ears.
Most coaches will tell you how you should behave. If only it were that easy. How many times have you known what you should say or do, but you just can’t pull it out of yourself? That’s why I created 360º Life Strategies — a collection of strategies from a lifetime of trial and error learning how to make my inside life match my potential. YOU are the reason I do this. You and my three daughters. My goal is for more women to live the life they were designed to live, with courage, clarity and confidence.
I’ve just made some renovations to my web site, so I hope you will go in and check out my retreats page and make sure we’re connected on all the social channels listed on my home page so I can I infuse you with strategies to live your life clear between the ears every day.